Rested in peace

He was lying on the bed counting the last minutes of his life when he had the flashback of his life.

Raghav's life was never a bed of roses for him. It made everything worse for him because he was an utterly emotional person. His thought process continuously worked hard to make every bad situation worse for him.He thought a lot, that was his biggest problem. But still he always was a person with great fighting spirit. He often used to say 'There isn't a problem in this world which doesn't have a goddamn solution.' However he realized sometimes you finish the fight as a winner,sometimes you die trying. His friends were very fond of him and described him as a person who can give you comfort and motivation like nobody can.

He was brilliant student till his high school in spite of having a nasty childhood. He gave all the credit to his mother who taught him everyday. Whatever he did, it was perfect. Such was his brilliance that people used to say 'This guy will make it very big someday.' However he lost the magic touch after that. He made many reasons for it which also included an affair with a girl which finished after he discovered she was two timing.He did everything - made poems for her, pampered, made sure he was always there, told her thousand times a day about how much he loved her and still it went wrong. He was left crying. His friends supported him and so did his family, specially his dad who told him ' You were always too good for her'. But somewhere deep down he felt alone, very alone. He wanted some peace. He wanted to stop thinking, but he couldn't. He cursed himself for being like this but that was only thing he was able to do.

Somehow he got back again, he stood up again and started living his life but still with a heavy heart. He often felt that loneliness in spite of having loving parents, amazing friends. He couldn't understand the reason but he never gave up. He kept failing his exams. But he kept doing he felt happy at. He wrote poems. Raghav was a Leo, he loved the appreciation he got. And specially from that one girl he was falling in love with. He proposed her. She accepted and it was on. They spent the loveliest time possible until they broke up after 2 years and that too when he was going through the craziest of problems in his life. The tiff between his parents was on it's ultimate high. He was left alone again. He felt the that space in his heart. When he said 'My heart aches', he literally meant it.

Raghav smoked heavily, he kept failing his exams, he kept his hunger for love alive until it was satisfied for a last relationship he gave  a shot. He was happy now, at least some part of him. The problems at his place continued. His parents kept fighting , he cried in front of them, being away from them. But they never stopped. They told him his failures were the reason for everything. In spite of the happiness and love he had from his girl, he still wasn't alive inside. He still didn't have that peace. He still felt alone, he kept thinking , he kept smoking heavily for months and the fight continued, that lost touch made him fail the exams again. He tried fighting back just to realize the touch was gone.

Years of smoking, ups and downs got him to a place nobody wanted him to be, he discovered very late he has lung cancer. Yes, the fire shifted from his heart to his lungs as he inhaled it from his nostrils and from all those moments he felt alone. He was supposed to be frightened but instead he didn't feel a thing. He was admitted to the hospital. He imagined the way he would look when they carry him on the shoulders and smiled liked a sadist. His parents , his sister  , his girl friend , his friends , they all loved him and they wanted him to come back to life, but he already lost the will to live.

He was loving the appreciation even when he was the hospital bed almost ready to die. He couldn't believe that he was such a beggar for attention. His parents holding both his hands with their eyes swollen, his friends who  were crying, his new found love keeping her shivering hand on his forehead. He now knew what he always wanted. All he wanted was everybody close to him to realize that he loved them, that he wanted everybody to be happy.

But it was too late.

He was already on his way to a new life as he - Rested in peace which he always searched for.