‘Things not to say when you propose’

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Most relationships end up before even starting and the reason – Guys being the losers they’re at talking, screw up the proposal part. When you’re all set to propose the girl of your dreams, you might want to avoid saying a few things which can really get you in trouble or worse, you lose her once it for all. Here are a few things which shouldn’t say even if it’s the last thing you want to say before you die someday.
  ‘You know I use to like your best friend first, but then I realized - it’s not her, it’s you!’

Say that if you’re really strong and don’t mind taking a few beatings from her. Now, one may wonder, ‘As if that’ll hurt?’ Don’t underestimate them. When they hit it, they hit it really bad! And besides no girl deserves and wants to the second choice, and definitely not when her best friend is the first!

  ‘I can really keep you happy; I’ve a lot of money’

It may work for a few of them but most of them will take it as an insult. So even though it’s true that you need money to keep her happy, (You can’t just pamper them with self written songs and poems these days, that’s thing of the past. These days it’s about that ‘costly-burning-a-hole-in-the-pocket-perfume’ or that classic ‘made-by-killing-an-innocent-animal’ leather bag or anything that keeps them happy!) Don’t try to impress her with your money!

  ‘Just by looking at you I can tell you that we’re going to have amazing kids’

Seriously? That is a cute line and works alright but not when you propose (Except some larger than life SRK movie). Don’t freak the girl out by talking about your family plans. Remember when you propose, it should be only about her and not about any other single thing. So, wait a little bit for your family dreams, you’re not going to get infertile in that little bit!

  ‘You look great; I wonder why your facebook picture is not that great?’

The moment you say that, forget the girl. When you said that the display pic on FB isn’t great, you probably forgot that she’s a girl and more than half of the boys in her friend list must have hit the like button! Whatever you do just don’t talk about the pic if it isn’t great and you’re not good in lying!

  ‘You know, I got a lot of girls crazy about me, but I’m crazy about you!’

When you said that, you forgot the basic principle – ‘The stud gets the girl first but in the end it’s the baby face who always has the last laugh with the chick on his side!’ Don’t try and be a stud and even if you’re, conceal the fact. A girl will like a stud for a moment but will always settle down with the other kind!

  ‘You know there was this cruel girl I used to love a lot, but you’re not like her’

What exactly were you thinking when you said that? That’s not a compliment. So even though that’s an honest confession for a guy, for a girl it’s ‘Oh my God, he’s still not over his ex!’ Save it for the right time, for example when you’re in a great mood to bitch about your ex but seriously not when you propose!

Proposing that special girl should be as special to you as it becomes to her, so try and make it special in the best way possible and avoid saying stupid things. And if you really have a problem with words – Do more, talk less! Take her to a candle light dinner; bribe the restaurant to play her favorite track, pour a glass of wine for her and tell her she’s is what real beauty really is!

Oh yes! Don’t ever forget to say those magical three words, ‘I love you!’

Take care :)

The Spoilers!

Once, me and a couple of my close friends, all avid wrestling fans were fighting with each other trying to copy our favourite wrestlers. One of them, named Sawali Singh (Name not changed on request but considering the fact that if he reads this with his name, he’ll probably beat me down to death. And the name Sawali – because he asks, at least 60 questions in a minute) got all exhausted but still with the over confidence which has always been a part of him said, “Don’t you guys try to masturbate with me!”  For a second we all thought he has suddenly realized that he is gay, then one of us realised what he actually wanted to say.  He wanted to say, “Don’t you guys try to mess with me!” (I wanted to kill him right there, but then I realised he’s like a hulk compared to me.) Rest is history, with the kind of sadistic morons guys are, he has to hear what he said every time he debates with us on a certain topic(Don’t hate us please, he also says ‘ I doesn’t likes this’. There, I gave you reason enough to hate him.) Surely one of the biggest language spoilers I’ve come across in my life.

I have come across people who speak wrong Hindi and their companions don’t find anything wrong in that ,in fact they find it cute, “Aww..she sounds so adorable speaking wrong Hindi” is what I heard sometime back from somebody, In one way it’s really a couple ‘madly in love’( which even I was) , and the other way around someone is listening to the wrong use of language and planning to kill them, that someone who is a true Hindi language lover.

I’m sure each one of us comes across such a thing in our day to day life very often. The biggest example of art spoilers are the dubbed movies.  Especially the Hindi dubbed English movies (Please don’t ask me why I watch such things, instead try watching them. I bet you’ll fall down from your bed laughing your guts out. I would also recommend Himesh Reshamiya for the same.) Now it’s not necessary that a particular thing said in English will always sound that much cool and classy if dubbed in Hindi.

For instance I once saw a Hindi dubbed Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 1994 movie ‘True lies’. In the English version when in a very famous striptease (perverts, stop going onto the youtube, read all this first) Jamie Lee Curtis is dancing in front of Arnold, he says via a tape recorder, “No, not like this.Dance sexy” . However in the Hindi version he says in a rather pathetically-chosen-voice-for-Arnold , “Aise nahi, sexy naach nacho”. The only question on my mind was, where’s the goddamn person who took the initiative to dub this. The dialogue and the situation when in English version is a classic, however when in the Hindi version is a classic disaster.

In another such disastrous encounter  I saw Charlie's Angels, in which whenever the mysterious Charlie contacts the girls he says ‘ My angels’ and in the Hindi dubbed version he says ‘ Meri haseenao’. Seriously that makes him sound like Shakti Kapoor of the old Hindi movies who had his hormones driving him crazy for every other chick! In another such rapture endorsing move, very often the expression, ‘Hey dude, what’s up?’ in English movies is dubbed as “Oye , Praji, ki haal hain?”(No offence against Punjabi, I love the language, I hate the dubbing people) in the Hindi dubbed ones. To experience these disasters watch UTV Action, they show it the whole day. Yes! The whole damn day!

Another set of art spoilers are the Hindi dubbed Tollywood movies (Yes I watch them too, try watching ‘Sivaji – The boss’, you’ll start watching it too). They are the ultimate height of disaster and sadness because even the songs are dubbed. So the dialogues and the songs which are so nicely scripted and made according to the fan following in South India are all destroyed by making them look like something which has been done to make people laugh when they’re Hindi dubbed. Nobody can change the fact that today most of the Bollywood movies are remakes of South Indian movies.

How would you feel if  you just surf around on the internet and come across something you’ve written being used by some another person? I found one such thing once, I seriously thought of hiring a hit man, then dropped the idea considering my budget. (That day I came to know a new thing, you don’t get a hit man in 100 bucks!)Such people who plagiarize are not only the art spoilers but also pathetic! Because they don’ realize when they’re stealing stuff, they’re also stealing some moments of extreme emotions!

I’m a English language lover. I would certainly encourage someone trying to learn the language but I hate it when Indians use the language wrong and still are adamant about it and then they joke in a rather shameful way ‘ The British ruled us for 200 years, it’s our turn to rape their language! What they don’t realize is that, in the process they’re really fucking some ears. Speak the language you’re comfortable in. Don’t be a spoiler!

I love art, be it be any kind of art including the movies. Dubbing is good because it helps people following different languages and from different backgrounds to experience movies from other cultural backgrounds, but it should really be done in a proper way so that it’s fair to the person who made it with his full dedication. There’s no need to try to be a superman when you don’t even have underwear to wear over your pants!

I’m a writer and whatever I write is a work of my emotions. It hurts me when someone steals somebody’s work (then I want to hurt that person by hitting him in his balls). Everybody is an artist at heart; one just needs the right motivation to bring it out. Find the motivation, don’t be a spoiler! You won’t like them writing about what a moron you’re in their next post!

“ Be yourself and be confident,

Be comfortable in your skin...

That is the only way,

You’ll always be the king!”

Don’t be a spoiler!

 

Take care :)